


Et Iterum

by Plegethorn



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Ambiguous Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Broken hearted Wol, Can we become ascians?, Dancer WoL, F/F, F/M, Fuck Hydaelyn I do what I want, Hades gets to live, Hades will live but it will hurt, Hydaelyn says its my turn to use the brain cell, I hope you're listening, INTERNAL SCREAMING, Internal Monologue, M/M, Reader is the Warrior of Light, Shadowbringers Spoilers, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Time Travel, Time to fix shadowbringers, Time to go dark, Warrior of Light needs a Hug, Warrior of light is 100 percent done, Who should we kill off?, Zodiark - Freeform, Zodiark says fuck life, depressed Wol, how many fucks can I use, no beta we die like men, probably, rated teen because of harsh language, too many fucks given
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23041819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plegethorn/pseuds/Plegethorn
Summary: Time wasn't as fluid as the Scions had thought. Instead of being like a river, it was more like a volcano, lava constantly swirling around, trying to lodge free hardened lumps.It all started with hades, you winning and then something happened.The twelve were probably laughing at you right now.And like usual, you, the warrior of light are right at the heart of it.Yay.
Relationships: Established Relationships, Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Et Iterum

**Author's Note:**

> Alright fuckers, listen up.  
> I love you all and seeing the number of clicks on my previous fics made me cry, thank you for all of your support.  
> because of the amount of support, I'mma try and write this idea I had.  
> This is going to be my first proper multichapter fic, wish me luck.  
> Don't expect it to be updated regularly, sorry, but I'll try and update when I get the urge to write.  
> Come curse at the void with me on Tumblr.  
> You can find me at phlegethornspace.

The notched, scratched, and mangled chakram hung loosely in one of your exhausted hands, while the other hand was twisted and bent to suggest that it was either broken or lost. Blood of a mysterious colour drained from the curved blade to the floor in a rhythmic sound as the arena of the place that ripped your heart wide open began to spin and flicker in the dulcet tones and purple hues of your impromptu host. The deceased's blue sparkles inevitably fleeing outward searching for the lifestream. The battle had been long and arduous, your fingers clenched and unclenched against your will, spasming on the weathered hilt as tears from your swollen eyes began to flood in.   
  


You let out a sigh of relief before immediately regretting your decision, staggering as pain wracking your body from such a simple movement, indicating that a rib might have been broken too. Tired from the fight, battered, bruised, bloodied and hurting in places that you didn't even know could hurt. A sob of  _ something you couldn’t quite identify _ wracked your frame and you stumbled on the uneven surface, hearing the cry of surprise from your friends before the inevitable chatter and arguing about who would heal you before you felt a soothing wave of healing magic pass over you, sending  _ whoever _ it was a nod of thanks, whether they saw it or not.    
Turning your head back to your path and closing your eyes for a moment, trusting your companions to steer you correctly, regaining your bearings and feeling the unholy abomination of light resettle into the depths of your soul. You took a deep breath and held it, until your lungs burned, screaming for air. Letting it out, you repeated the simple exercise. Breath in, pause, breath out letting out all of the hurt, the soul-deep pain, and feeling your heartbeat slow to a crawl, the tears in your eyes finally slowing in their downfall, if not stopping, at least your heart felt slightly lighter than it had, even if it was still broken.

Behind you, you could hear your companions, -no that wasn't right. Behind you, you could hear your- friends, family really, walking over to you. The muttered questions that you couldn't quite make out. You assumed they were asking you if you were alright so you nodded, turning your head briefly to offer them a broken smile as Y'sthola placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.    
Maybe she could see your broken will, you thought with a sense of disconnectedness. It may not have been you who felt this feeling. Maybe it wasn't just you who struggled for survival. Maybe it was just another Warrior of light. After all, hadn't you learned that? You were not your own person, but a model, an artificial being that was made to fight the gods ' war because they couldn't be arsed to do it themselves. The Mother had been oddly quiet in your journeys lately. Had she finally cast you aside, is that why the Light had been so overpowering?   
  
Why were your companions still beside you if you were tempered. Had you perhaps tempered them too, you wondered idly, your mood souring further still before rationality kicked in. Several had the echo, so surely they would have noticed unless…   
Wait. Did any of them actually have it?    
Mentally shaking your head, you kicked a small piece of rubble as you walked, trying to take your mind off your emotions.   
Thankfully the other scions must have noticed your dark mood, or perhaps they simply didn’t want to talk to you. Whatever the reason, they blissfully left you out of the idle chatter, most likely assuming that the fight had been just yet another ascian for you to kill or seal. Did they really not realise what it was doing to you? Could they not see how it was affecting you?    
Hades…   
Why did you do this? 

None of this you said, however, though perhaps your face said it for you as the rest of the scions surrounded you, walking you to the small Aetheryte at the outer rim of the arena. Sheathing your weapons onto your belt, you wrapped your arms around yourself, focusing inward, silently praying to whichever particular God that happened to be listening at that particular moment for a warm bath, a decent meal and blissful sleep. 

As they all slowly one by one left, leaving you alone once more, you moved to the small aether shard and began to attune to it, focusing on the Crystarium as your next jump. You closed your eyes, ignoring the flashes of memories from the battle, pushing them aside to focus. You felt the dip in the surrounding aether, a sudden pull of your soul fraying at the edges that preceded the jump and you submerged yourself fully, letting the current take you to your destination. The crystal tower shining in your mind’s eyes like a beacon. You felt the jolt of your soul rebonding to your body, and as the ground beneath your feet solidified, you opened your eyes, mouth half-open to greet the others around you and-   
Cracking open an eye, even though you knew you really  _ shouldn’t  _ while teleporting, you frowned.

Wait.

Why hadn't you moved?   
You’d clearly felt the pull, the ground leaving your feet, and the aether directing you, so why hadn’t you moved?

Okay okay.   
Don’t panic.

Maybe you’d just done something wrong?   
Taking a deep breath and filling your lungs and focusing once more, eyes falling closed, you cast your mid into the aether, taking Eulmore as your destination, visualising the waves lapping at the light scorched sand, the gleaming white tower shining in the murky sky, the gold gilding glinting in the sun. Concentrate only on breathing and feeling the aether around you. Let it take you to where you need to go. Forget all else.

You felt the pull around you and surrendered yourself to its flow. The floor swam to your feet, you felt the jolt of the soul meeting body. You felt-

Wait what was that?

You dived a hand into the pocket, towards the source of the small jolt, hands flailing around to feel for the- There it was. Your hands gripped the small thing, dragging it out of the pocket and to your eyeline.

The object - an idol left by the ancients maybe? - appeared to be made of wood and carved strangely. Looking closer, the decorations around it seemed to almost represent how Hade's claws had wrapped around your body and smoke appeared to be carved around it, hovering as you moved the small item around in the air. 

Huh. Neat.   
  


Tucking it away for safekeeping in one of your many pockets and making a mental note to have it appraised at a later date, you returned your attention to the matter at hand.

Repeating the process of aether travel once more, feeling the jolt of soul and body colliding from places unknown and knowing that you hadn't moved, you frowned, attempting it again, again, again and again. 5 times. 6 times. 7.   
_ Why wasn’t it working for you? _ _  
_ Heart pounding in your ears, you glared at the small blue crystalline object, as though that would have helped you at all. Cursing and turning for a moment, a hand lowering itself to your blades, fingers plying with it for a moment, before releasing it and trying the aether travel once more, growling as it failed to move you again.   
Moving your working hand to your curved blades again, you took one off your belt, flinging it to the small Aetheryte, feeling some small vindictive pleasure at releasing some of your frustrations, before sighing and retrieving your blade from the floor, examining the Aetheryte as you did so, lead settling in your stomach at the sight of the unblemished blue shell.   
For fuck’s sake! Were you only good for battle and being pointed at things that others wanted killing? Even a fucking child could use aether travel correctly.   
If the aetheryites of the firest didn’t seem to be working, perhaps you should try the Source?    
  


Closing your eyes once more, a deep breath pulling itself from your lungs, you focused once more, imagining feeling the dappled sunlight from the tall trees, the brook beside the plaza trickling and the waterwheel turning and the wood under your feet, a slim hope still burning in your chest that you would be able to return to your friends. The aether around you dipped and you felt your soul enter the aether, the Lifestream guiding you to where you needed, no- where you wanted to be. Coming to a juddering, bone-jolting halt, you cracked open an eye as more lead settled into your stomach at the all-too-familiar sight of the  _ same fucking arena _ . 

Heavens above and below help you,  _ please _ .

You stood once more, casting your eyes around the room, perhaps you had missed something that might help you out. A leaver, a button, something, anything that might help you and finding none. Returning your gaze back to the Aetheryte, you reached out to it, feeling it with both your hand and mind. It certainly felt real, and the others had already left using it, so it must have been real,  _ so why was it not fucking working for you? _

Was this some form of divine karma? Were the Twelve, or whatever damnable gods they worshipped on the first watching your trials and laughing, deciding that you would be the entertainment for the day?    
You closed your eyes, seeing flashes of Hades behind your lids. Had he known that you wouldn’t be able to leave? Was this some kind of sick joke from him? Was this all that had awaited you upon killing him? A simple, single fucking carving and imprisonment.  _ Really? _ You weren't expecting a heavenly choir, or perhaps an inexplicable peace to suddenly spread across the source and its reflections, but Twelve fuck it all! The total of fuck all for the Hero, the Warrior of Darkness and Light, a saviour of two worlds.  _ Two! _ A carving, oh what joy.

You looked around, hoping that there would be something else,  _ anything else _ to make the fight worth it. Your body noticed it long before your mind did and as it glinted, catching your eyes, your legs were already moving towards it. The closer you moved to it, the heavier the air became. The repeated Thwumping and murmurs in the air followed the pounding of your heart. You soon identified it as a -Oh holy twelve loving shit.- crystal. Not another fucking one. Not after all of this. Hydaelyn be dammed. Perhaps you should have sold yourself to Zodiark when you were given the chance. Maybe Hades was right and all the races needed to burn, or perhaps just you. Either way, Zodiark would win. At this point, you weren't sure that Zodiark winning wouldn't be a bad thing. Did it matter which size won after however many millennia of war?

Fuck. Your thoughts were starting to run in circles and you shook your head, attempting to break free of the endless cycle. Perhaps you were the perfect Warrior, perhaps not, but you had done your duty and right now, you were not getting your pay.    
  
Bending and taking the small, brown crystal in hand, noting the unusual frosty feeling, weighting it, assessing it's value. Perhaps someone would be willing to give you a fair price for it, either here on the First or back home on the Source you thought with a smirk before straightening.

As you cast your eyes around once more, before something tickled at the edge of your senses, and you snapped your gaze to look at the Aetheryte beside you, and seeing a figure bending and picking up the same crystal-wait, was that supposed to be you? As you moved to go and say  _ something,  _ anything really, _ reaching a hand to the shoulder, jolting, feeling the same hand touch you on your shoulder, _ the edges of your eyesight began to darken and fray, reality-bending, shattering, compressing, fragmenting and becoming undone around you. As it happened, you saw snippets of the fight against Hades, fragments of Amaurot, and of the tempest and Vaulthry and the giant Talos and - There was no sound of celestial harps or a choir of Sin Eaters voices to accompany you on your path.

Time was unwinding before your eyes, all of your good deeds on the first were being unwritten, you thought with annoyance, just another day of terrible luck for the warrior of light. What had you gone and done this fucking time? And as blackness flooded your mind and eyes, quietness sinking in, feeling the pull and push of forces beyond your control and knowledge guide you to a spinning, bone juddering halt as an all too familiar voice sounded behind you.

"You certainly took your time. I had half resolved to complete the task myself."

And like all other - good twelve-fearing, primal-slaying, world-saving, warrior-of-light-hero types would have done in your situation, you blacked out.

  
  
  
  



End file.
